Robert Lloyd - a Sir Gar Blog of random news . . . and some Clecs!

"It was about wasting your life, and everyone identifies with that" - Comic actor Ricky Gervais describing his TV sit-com The Office. Classic!

Carmarthenshire County Council chair Cllr Tyssul Evans has held a reception for 14 Carmarthenshire athletes who have achieved great success at the GB National Summer Games – a sports competition for learning disabled athletes across the country. The athletes were invited to County Hall for the reception to mark their achievements in the eighth summer games, when many excelled in their sports fields to clinch a host of gold, silver and bronze medals. In golf, Matthew Sims, Mark Merret, Phil Rees, Gary Pugh, Lewis Jones, Roger Thomas, David Edwards and James Hope took three golds, one silver, and one bronze, as well as one fourth placing and a fifth placing. In Kayaking, Robert Phibben took a silver medal and one fourth place position, and Stephen Beynon took two bronze medals and one fourth place position. Llinos Gilmore Jones took two golds in ten pin bowling, and Richard Evans took a bronze medal in judo. In Boccia, Rhian David won a team Gold medal and was placed in sixth place in th

Carmarthenshire residents aged 50 and over are being invited to mark Older People’s Day this Thursday (October 1) with a range of exclusive health and leisure special offers. Carmarthenshire County Council’s 50+ Forum has teamed up with the authority’s leisure services to provide a host of exclusive offers for people aged 50 and over. They include a free film screening, free golf for a month, £5 discount on parking at Pembrey Country Park, 40 per cent discount through the Young at Heart Saver Scheme in the county’s leisure centres, and free swimming sessions. The authority is helping celebrate Older People’s Day by celebrating the fact that we are all living longer, healthier and more fulfilling lives. Kevin Pett, 50+ development officer, said: “We want people to celebrate Older People’s Day by taking advantage of the range of offers we have arranged to help keep the county young at heart.” Carmarthenshire County Council has a thousand-strong forum of people aged 50 and over, who help

Up and coming snooker stars are on cue for a bright future thanks to snooker champion Terry Griffiths, and a little help from Carmarthenshire County Council. World champion Terry Griffiths has developed a 21st Century coaching software package known as Snooker Lab – the first ever technical analysis software dedicated to snooker development. His creation, which is expected to revolutionise snooker coaching and development, has been helped along its way by a £4,646 grant from the South West Wales Local Investment Fund (LIF), aimed at helping small and medium sized companies in south west Wales. The fund is being led by Carmarthenshire in partnership with neighbouring authorities in Swansea, Pembrokeshire, Ceredigion, and Neath Port Talbot, along with the West Wales Chamber of Commerce. Grants of up to £5,000 are being offered, with equipment, premises improvement, one-off marketing costs, website development and specialist software all eligible. The grant will enable Terry Griffiths Sno

A Llanelli youth centre is undergoing a face-lift as part of a Community Regeneration Tidy Towns Project. Following some recent vandalism, young people will spruce up the garden at Bwlch Rangers Youth Centre to help encourage more people to visit the centre and take advantage of its facilities. Pupils form Coedcae and Bryngwyn School and students from the Llanelli SMART Project and FACE will take part in a three-day challenge to transform the garden and will be using the work as part of their Duke of Edinburgh’s Award and other accreditation. Huw Thomas, Senior Youth worker for the Llanelli area said: “The young people have been determined to sort the current situation at Bwlch and they’ve made it their priority to ensure that the garden will be a focal point at the centre. “The young people are setting a great example and it just goes to show that there are youngsters out there who want to make a difference and do well in their communities.” The clean-ups take place during September a

Pedestrians and even young mums with prams are risking life ignoring a footbridge on the Station Road bridge over the main line at the heart of Burry Port. In an effort to deter people running the gauntlet with traffic over the road bridge, Carmarthenshire County Council transport chiefs, local members and Llanelli MP Nia Griffith are trying to push through quickly a series of measures to improve safety there if the cash can be found. County Councillor Pat Jones said: “It is a great worry the numbers of pedestrians including motorised scooters, wheelchairs and pram pushers who ignore the footbridge and risk life and limb crossing on this busy narrow bridge that has no pavement. “It is reckless, especially as a footbridge is provided alongside.” County Councillor Stephen James said: “This has been an accident waiting to happen and we are delighted to help push improvements through with the support of the MP and Pembrey and Burry Port Town Council Mayor John Rees.” The deputation met tra

Hand gel was banned from a prison after inmates got high and started a fight. Inmates at HMP The Verne on the Isle of Portland in Dorset were drinking the gel for its alcohol content after it was put on a wing to stop the spread of swine flu. Peter McParlin, area representative for the Prison Officers Association (POA), said they were making "hooch" from the gel. You couldn't make it up!

"Now that I can see him properly in all his handsomeness, I think it's enormously flattering - apart from the stomach which appears to be sticking out a bit" - Sir Terry Wogan, after studying a life-size cake replica of himself. Just no stopping this guy's ego!

4 October Great Welsh Walkathon Millennium Coastal Park, Llanelli. The Great Welsh Walkathon is a new Womens only event. The Walkathon will be in support of the cervical cancer charity Jo's Trust. Set in Carmarthenshire, the Walkathon will take place in one of the most beautiful parts of the South Wales coastline. The coarse is flat, safe and traffic free and is suitable for walkers and power walkers of all standards. www.walkathon.co.uk 01558 668998 1 - 30 October Orchard - Edwina Bridgeman A charming installation recreating the quiet contemplative spaces of the orchard in the British imagination. Oriel Myrddin Gallery, Carmarthen. (excluding Sundays). www.orielmyrddingallery.co.uk 01267 222775 31 October Welsh Creative Hobby Show United Counties Showground, Carmarthen. www.unitedcounties.co.uk 01267 232141

Two south Wales weekly newspapers, the Neath and Port Talbot Guardians, are to close, it has been announced. How sad. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8273676.stm

I am grateful to my old pal Colin Jones for refreshing my memory on this old joke - Dai died two days ago. Blodwen his widow, knew that Dai was well liked, so she went to the local newspaper office, to place a notice in the obituary column. She started writing, 'Dai has died', then she realised that she only had enough money... for three words. The caring lady behind the counter said to Blodwen, 'Blodwen don't worry, have another three words, I'll pay for them'. So Blodwen, wrote, 'Dai has died, Corsa for sale'.

Female students are a "perk" of the job for male university lecturers, a senior academic suggested. But as at famous lapdancing club Stringfellows, lecturers should "look but not touch", according to Terence Kealey, vice-chancellor of Buckingham University. In a humorous article for The Times Higher Education magazine on "lust", part of a feature of the seven deadly sins of universities, Dr Kealey wrote: "Normal girls - more interested in abs than in labs, more interested in pecs than specs, more interested in triceps than tripos - will abjure their lecturers for the company of their peers, but nonetheless, most male lecturers know that, most years, there will be a girl in class who flashes her admiration and who asks for advice on her essays. What to do? Enjoy her! She's a perk." No comment needed here!

"My dream was always to work in a candy store. It was because of my obsession with candy; I don't have it any more, now that my teeth are all rotten" - Madonna. She's pretty rotten all through in my book. Can't stand the woman.

Carmarthenshire County Council Youth Service has conducted a survey to give young people the opportunity to voice their opinions on youth club provision in the county. The purpose of the survey was to find out what young people want from a youth club and how current services and facilities could be improved upon. The surveys were completed by young people aged between 11 and 17 years. Findings showed that young people were particularly pleased with the activities currently on offer and that they had grown in confidence and gained respect for others and the community as a result of attending their local youth clubs. The majority of young people felt that youth clubs were a good way of providing a safe place to socialise and a place where they could access information on specific issues affecting them. Lifelong Learning Networks Manager, Matt Morden said: “In order to improve our services, we need to listen to young people and consult with them on a regular basis. “The survey has shown u

"Think Glastonbury for politicos. Vast numbers of people trapped uncomfortably close to one another as they wonder which political act to go and see on which stage" - Nick Robinson, the BBC's political editor, sums up party conferences. But Nick won't say which party has a Radiohead!

A "scaredy-cat" Bengal tiger damaged his species' fearless reputation after getting stuck at the top of a 15ft activity tower. Two-year-old Tanvir was affectionately branded a "wimp" by keepers at Noah's Ark Zoo Farm in Wraxall, Bristol, after spending more than 24 hours at the summit. The playful animal took just minutes to scale the tower, which has branch-like platforms to test the tigers' ingenuity, but after shinning up the structure he was too frightened to come down. Were the keepers the other side of the bars when they called him a wimp?

Television presenter Noel Edmonds launched an iPhone application for people who believe in the New Age philosophy of Cosmic Ordering. It allows people to place orders with the Cosmos asking for their wishes to come true and then record what happens. Edmonds has attributed much of his recent success to the principles of Cosmic Ordering, which encourages people to think positively about what they want from life. Has Mr Blobby's brain turned to jelly?

"When I was crossing the Nullarbor Plain, the longest straight road in the world, I put my GPS on and it said 'Ride for 3,000 miles. Then turn left'" - Comedian Ross Noble on travelling Australia by motorbike. Classic!

Carmarthenshire County Council staff who care for friends or family are being offered support to cope better with their duties. There are approximately 22,000 unpaid carers across the county – and inevitably some of them work for the 9,000-strong council workforce. Now the authority’s occupational health teams have set up a ‘Looking After Me’ course to help carers take more control of their situation and make a difference to the quality of their lives. Staff are being allowed paid time off work to attend the course, as part of the council’s commitment to looking after its workforce. The six-week course, which starts at Llanelli’s Antioch Centre on October 8, looks at relaxation techniques, exercise, healthy eating and coping with depression. It also looks at dealing with tiredness, advises on the best ways of communicating with family, friends and professionals, and planning for the future. The course is open to staff who care for someone living with a long term illness or disability,

A 64-year-old widow achieved a rare feat in golf that not even Tiger Woods has managed - scoring two holes-in-one during a single round. Ruth Day, from Tynemouth, North Tyneside, defied odds estimated at around 67 million-to-one when she scored two aces at Whitley Bay Golf Club. Mrs Day, a retired British Gas showroom manager with a handicap of 35, was delighted to achieve her first hole-in-one on the 149-yard third hole while playing socially with a friend, as many keen players go their entire golfing career without an ace. Some people get all the luck.

"Money for old rope" - Broadcaster John Humphrys on his job hosting Mastermind. In which case, give it up, John, and let someone else have a go.